Stress and Consequences (Genre Reflection)

            Life can be a struggle at times to succeed at what you really want to do. I find that struggling is the norm for me. I look out across the room of students before me and all that is returned are faces filled with disinterest. That is, if they bother to even look at me at all. I think to myself, I have to find a way to reach them. However, how do you reach those who do not wish to be? One, two, three, four, five. Five heads down, eyes closed, the text unopened before them, or left turned to some far previous page. I do my best to get each of them back on track as the reading continues, but only one thought is racing through my mind: This is going badly. How do I recover?

            I can’t answer that question. I’m not even sure I want to. Twice already I have changed everything in an effort to connect with them. What began as active antagonism toward everything has turned into a cold indifference. I couldn’t begin to say which of these things is actually worse to endure. Should I stiffen up and soldier on, hoping they become willing to change, or should I keep changing and trying? Is it simple teenage rebellion or am I somehow lacking something that they expect of a teacher? I have no way of knowing for sure.

            Tomorrow is another day. As they leave class looking like desperate prisoners who are finally being allowed to see light again, one of them at least bids me a farewell greeting. Of course, he calls me “Mr. Teacher” rather than to actually use my name, and as I recall he was asleep but not twenty minutes before. I hope he had a good rest. I’m not sure how easy I’ll be able to sleep. I’m unsure of where things are going and how I should change them to suit their needs. I probably won’t be able to sleep a wink, let alone through an entire lecture. I can always hope that with each new day a breakthrough might present itself and everything can be turned around. Until then, I have to try. It’s all I can keep doing.

Impress Me

Still working with my temp CT while I wait for my assigned CT to heal up enough to return to work. In the meanwhile, I've been getting know a lot of the students in my temp's classroom. It's an exceptionally bright class as far as I can tell, which is to be expected of AP students. I have been able to work more closely with the students on a regular basis more than I ever was in my previous placements. He doesn't mind if I move through the class and assist students when they need it or just answer a question for them when they are busy. I've also found myself being a bit of a motivator for keeping students on task when they wander off into their own conversations (an activity one particular group seems very prone to).

What I’ve found is that my CT has very high expectations of his students and he expects them to strive to meet these expectations at all times. Some would call his method “harsh” or “too rough,”  but in my opinion it seems to be getting results. During peer grading, they are advised to be “brutally honest” in their critiques of one another in order to set a high standard that will help them later in the AP course. We are of the same mindset that going too easy on students can be very bad for them in the long run even if it achieves short term results. I’ve long held the belief that coddling students is detrimental to their academic achievement. Pushing them to their boundaries and then urging them to go even further is sometimes just what is needed. I feel that often times teachers will shoot too low to really force their students to achieve. What can one hope to accomplish when we don’t even have confidence in our students to be able to meet our expectations?

Personally, I always expect students to be able to rise up to a decent challenge and perform. I urge them to impress me with what they know and can do. Sometimes they will, but I am at least guaranteed that they will put in their best effort to try if they believe this is what is necessary to succeed. I am loathe to underestimate what a student is capable of just because they may not have been performing to standards before. There are many reason why that may be, and just assuming that a student is not capable of comprehending something is just lazy teaching. I like to set the bar high and see not only who makes it over, but who tries as hard as they can to clear it. Sometimes they might need a little boost to get up there, but I think when you implement this mode of thinking, you might be surprised at how well your students perform. Far too often I have seen teachers just give up on a group of students with certain material because they thought they weren’t ready, or would never be able to handle it. I question how they are ever to learn if no one ever tries to teach them?

Getting Down With the Sickness (Not a rock song)

It is unfortunate that my assigned CT has to be out for surgery currently. I wish him the best of luck and a speedy recovery for sure. It was much odder to find that this week, my temporary replacement CT was also nowhere to be found! Two days in a row, I found myself without a teacher, substitutes instead in his place, with little explanation from anyone as to what had happened. On day three, I finally got to meet my temp CT who was looking quite the worse for wear after a bout with bronchitis. I'm glad he's feeling better and was willing to truck on even though he didn't seem to be 100%. I love his charismatic way with the class as he seems to have a very interesting way of keeping the students' attention to what he is saying.

I just wish I could have seen more of it this week before coming down with something myself. I'm glad to report it wasn't anything as serious as bronchitis and I'm feeling much better now, but this morning I could have sworn I had made a head on collision with a truck while riding a bicycle. I can't wait to get back to class and work with the interesting people I've met at my assigned school. I'm already enjoying myself, and so far everyone has been friendly and insightful, ready to offer any kind of aid they can.

The experience has given me some time to think about the preparations a teacher must make for the inevitability of being sick. There's going to come a time when you are going to wake up in the morning and feeling like an elephant just fell on you. At these times, when all else fails, it is time to call in sick. This is when your burden suddenly falls to a substitute teacher and the difficulty of their job is going to be almost entirely dependent on how well you have prepared things for them. Whether that means, keeping an easy lesson plan folder for them in a clearly marked space, or providing alternative activities, they need to know what should be taught to your class in your absence. More importantly, procedures need to be gone over with the students for how they should treat substitutes, and what should be done with assignments that are due on the day that you are not present. My replacement CT had to go over some of these things with his students on the day of his return, as they had not all assumed that their assignments still needed to be turned in when he wasn't there (they did).

I also had a chance to speak extensively with the substitute who filled in on the second day. He was very amicable in sharing about his experiences at several of the area schools here an what he thinks make for good and bad substitute experiences. His number one tip was that students who have a good foundation of how they should proceed through the day whether or not the teacher is present are the best to substitute for. It makes the job a great deal smoother on everyone involved. On the other hand, sometimes students take the day as a vacation day and there just isn't any solution the substitute can provide. In those times, he said he has to leave a note to the teacher explaining how their students reacted, which can often lead to some diciplinary repercussions.

Overall, it seems I managed to learn quite a bit from what seemed to be a hindrance at first, so I guess that is something to be grateful for.